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       [ x x ]                 cDc communications                 [ x x ]
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         (U)                                                        (U)

                               "The Camping Trip"

                                by  Franken Gibe

                      >>> A CULT Publication......1988 <<<
                        -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-

Larry: "I've heard there's been a lot of castration an' stuff in this trailer
       park.  So make sure you button up your fly, kid."

Sidney: "Don't worry.  My cock is steel-belted.  Nothin' short of a chain saw's
        gonna even scratch that mamma."

Pam: "Titter. Ohhh, Sid!  You card!"

Larry: "Well, Sidney, I've warned you.  Nick Cave would likely stand by me in
        my solicitude for my fellow man's genitalia."

Sidney and Pam [in unison, snidely]: "Oh, Larry.  Bite the Big One."

Larry: "Brr-ahem.  Fine."

                           ... Later that evening ...

       Rrrooom---rrrrroooom----rrrrmmmoooooommmmm-----whiiiiizzzzzz z--SNAP!

Sidney: "Ouch!  Oh dear.  I've been emasculated."

Larry: "Only radial tires are steel-belted, Sid.  Certainly, God never thought
       to fortify the male penis."

Pam: "Ooooo, Poor Little Siddy.  Shall I kiss your boo-boo?"

Sidney: "I believe my boo-boo was jus' snatched up by a young, rather scruffy

Pam: "Perhaps it was Mary?"

              [General laughter, including ruefully playful 
                   gasps of agony from the dickless Sidney]

Larry: "Gafaw, gafaw!  What a riot you are, Pamela.  Let me thrust my love
       muscle into your feline orifice.  What say?"

Pam: "Well, I'm sure Sid wouldn't object.  He hasn't a weenie."

Sidney: [grinning] "At least I'll save money on The Operation."

     And so the camping trip ended in success.  Pam went on to be a prostitute
in New York, and was strangled by a deranged bisexual midget.  Larry became a
priest and died soon after of MYSTERIOUS anal lesions.  Sid is now Sidella, and
resides in New Haven.  (S)he enjoys knitting and cats.

 Behavior Modification.....806/793-9462||The Dead Zone.............214/522-5321
 Demon Roach Underground...806/794-4362||Dragonfire Private........609/424-2606
 Question Authority........715/341-6516||TacoLand..................915/532-3226
 Tequila Willy's...........209/526-3194||The Metal AE..............201/879-6668
 (c)1988  cDc communications  by Franken Gibe                         9/5/88-74
 All Rights Worth Shit