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     | |      c   o   m   m   u   n   i   c   a   t   i   o   n   s     | |
     | |________________________________________________________________| |

  ...presents...            Fatal Attraction for Real
                                                         by G.A. Ellsworth

                      >>> a cDc publication.......1990 <<<
                        -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-

        So I got the job.  Cool!  I get to work with all of these really great
looking women.  Cool!  I'll finally start to get over that last person who
fucked with my mind....

        Hmm... Julee doesn't talk much.  She's not bad looking, I wonder if
she's got some kind of hate for people or something... (--hahaha--).. .nah!!
Wonder what she's like... "Really?  You're engaged?  Wow!  What a trip, do you
think you are really old enough to tie yourself down?  Pretty scary huh?"

        "Julee, do you think you could give me a ride home?  Really?  Great, so
tell me more about this fiancee -- oops... sorry I know you hate that word.... 
 Ok, tell me more about your boyfriend...."

        "Doggy style huh?    Yeah, I like it too.
Y'know, I didn't think we'd be talking about sex all that much considering you
are getting married and all....  Yeah, I love oral sex too... heh heh... much
better to give than receive... heh heh heh."

        "You smell pretty nice yourself....  So you think you really want me
huh?  What about Tom?  Ok, I won't mention him again...I'm just a little
weirded out by this"

        Yeah, this is definitely strange... but what the heck... if she's too
horny for one guy... and she doesn't feel guilty about it, what could it hurt?
And wow... she could like fullfill some of my fantasies and all that....   I
mean, she's so giving of herself.  She loves to give me head... she likes it
when I come in her mouth... she even wants me to fuck her in the ass... god
this is like a dream come true....

        "Yes of course you are important to me... you wouldn't be here if you
weren't."  Wait, do I really mean this?  Maybe I shouldn't say this without
thinking it through.  "Yes, really... what do you think I'd lie just to get
into your pants?"  Well, she's kinda doing the same thing... I don't think she
really means that she LOVES me, she's just saying what she's feeling at the
moment.  "Oh god yes that feels good.  Please don't stop.  Where are you

        "Why did you leave last time?  Really?  You were testing me to find out
if I was lying?  Did I let you down?  Great... yeah, I want to make you come
too."  Oh man... why am I thinking with my dick?  How can I let myself do this?
"Yes this is definitely a good thing... you really want me to fuck you in the
ass, huh?  Wow, I've always thought it would be pretty cool, you like it huh? 
I think I will...."  Am I really hurting her?  Why is she crying like that...
I'd better just keep goi... no wait... I'd better stop.  "Julee?  Julee, are
you ok?  I'm sorry I didn't want to hurt you... I didn't mean to... I thought
you wanted me to.  I'm sorry... I love you Julee."  Goddamnit... there I go
again... do you really love her?  Why the hell did you say it then?  What are
you doing?

        "Buy you a fifth of Schnapps huh?  That would do it... won't hurt so
much huh?  Great...."  Why didn't I think of this before... get her drunk. 
"You know that I get all weak when you touch me like that... yes it feels
great... yes you are the best ever at oral sex... I mean it." (I really do)
"God where did you learn this?  Fuck yes... that's exactly right... wow!"

        Seems like I've had more to drink than she has... wow... I'm starting
to feel pretty fucked up.  "Yes... you are my best friend Julee... no of course
not... I'd never tell my friends about this... yes yes... you could come to me
anytime you had a problem... god you are so good at this... you make me feel
so... wonderful...."  Then why does my soul feel like she's drinking my blood?
"Oh Julee I really do love you...."  Black out.

        My god... what did she do to me last night?  How could I have made all
those promises?  How could I have said all that?  Damn, I can hardly remember
what I said.  I remember her coming over and telling me not to tell anyone what
to say... god, it's like she drugged me and brain-washed me or something... I'm
really scared.  What does she really want?  How could she say that she loves
me?  How could I say I love her?  This is so insane!  How much of my soul did I
bare to her?  Why would I let down my defenses like that?  It's like she used
me... but I let her... I'm really scared now... it's like she's got so much
control.  Why is this getting to me?  What did I do wrong?

        I'm away from her now.  It's been 2 years.  But I'm still afraid of
her.  Somehow she got inside my brain and I ended up saying and feeling a bunch
of things I had no control over.  Whenever the phone rings and it's for me, I
ask "Who is it?"

        "Some woman, she didn't give a name."  My heart races.  My face flushes
and I feel whatever it was planted inside me come to life again.  My fantasies
are haunted by her.  I will be having sex with someone else and her name will
pop into my mind.  I'm afraid of her.  I have never met anyone like her, and I
hope I never have to go through this again.  I feel like I've been raped.
  _   _   ____________________________________________________________________
/((___))\|The Dead Zone........214/522-5321|Demon Roach Undrgrnd..806/794-4362|
 [ x x ] |NIHILISM.............415/285-9453|The People Farm.......916/673-8412|
  \   /  |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194|The Bombay............714/897-0412|
  (' ')  |Lunatic Labs.........213/655-0691|The Works.............617/861-8976|
   (U)   |====================================================================|
  .ooM   |(c)1990 cDc communications by G.A. Ellsworth.          06/22/90-#142|
\_______/|All Rights Pissed Away.                                             |