_ | \ | \ | | \ __ | |\ \ __ _____________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ _____________ | ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ | | | _/_/_____ | | > > _/_/_____ | | | | /________/ | | / / /________/ | | | | | | / / | | | | | |/ / | | | | | | / | | | | | / | | | | |_/ | | | | | | | | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | | | |________________________________________________________________| | |____________________________________________________________________| ...presents... Fuck You, Swamp Rat by Swamp Rat >>> a cDc publication.......1991 <<< -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc- ______________________________________________________________________________ WHAT THIS IS: It's a buncha stuff. So read it, already. -S. Ratte' xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "My Penis #1" -7/9/90 If my penis was a choke collar, I would wrap it around your neck... Pull it tight- Thirty-six Inches o' Gore-filled Hateful Tits of salvation -and strangle you like the dog you are. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "That Damn Cat" -1/26/91 You don't like me, You just want my food. (And especially my dairy products.) Fuck you, cat. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "My Penis #2" -7/16/90 My penis is- the garter snake in your garage that you hit over and over with the baseball bat. Hiss. Hiss. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "Cut" -4/25/91 2/22/91 Two Aaaay Emmmm Plumb crazy, goin' I drive by her house like a special fruit His car's there to keep me regular. And the lights are out. Stomach is raging And i want to and there's blood cut. in my shit. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "Mud an' Bug Parts" -2/21/91 Half-naked in the Dark, the couple standing on the porch don't understand why i'm running down their street - running to, running away - doesn't matter, just SomePlace "Stupid fucking kid!"... but they don't know the puddles and rivers along the edge of the streets, and the wild grass smell and the sky, the wall and eternity above always above my head. I jump up at it with a frustrated yell to come crashing down in the soggy wet grass stings my legs, but i'm the earth now, mud and water and bug parts and icky things and it's right, and it's where i belong. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "Grinch Hunt" -12/30/90 All the Whos down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot So they rolled up their peppermint in gooey old snot The Whos hated the Grinch, they baked him into a pie And they chanted, and shouted - "Grinch must die die die DIE!" xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "Nervous Phones" -2/21/91 Staring at the phone And it's not ringing.
Now your phone is ringing But it's not being stared at. Huh. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "My Penis #3" My penis, my penis, Is not a heroin fiend. And if it was on the showroom floor, I'd wax it to a glossy sheen. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "Bury It" -2/25/90 bury it beneath the swings under the gravel tracked, plowed by a hundred swinging feet bury it the ducks have gone the lake is cold bury it with the blood from the last scraped knee and the flakes of dried snot from a nose dragged across a jacket sleeve and the knees of jeans are sanitized finally of their grass stains. Mom's pleased. bury it Snoopy is hit by a car Encyclopedia Brown Gets Shot Down Prom Night Massacre The Sunday-morning waffles have imploded. bury it too inefficient eat dogs? Cannibal dogs? dog eat dog? bury it plow it under under the gravel under the swing tracked by a hundred feet, a thousand feet bury it? Fuck THAT noise... I'm alive, thank YOU very much. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "Bamn Ditch #1" Hey, you If i wanted this kind of Rudeness, disrespect, and inconsideration I'd go up to a total stranger On the street -beat 'em over the head with a baseball bat and wait for a reaction. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Pogo-Stickin' Delirium" -11/19/90 I wield my mighty pogo-stick And gallop across the plains of Armageddon It's a well-oiled death machine A precision masterpiece of engineering Leaving 3-inch diameter holes in the foreheads Of the unjust and irrational xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "A Job Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Right" I saw her tonight. She doesn't even remember. How could she? She never knew about the endless hours she had been thought about on the long summer days and nights... the beautiful dreams about her with her soft billowy blonde hair, fully rounded breasts and wide inviting hips. But it still aches and digs like a phillips-head screwdriver tearing through my feet up to my brain. It's been years, but it's not finished. Too polite, always too polite, to finish it. Well, I'll finish it this time. I know where her bedroom is, and I've got a gun. I'll finish it now. I'll find out exactly what's going through her pretty little head. It'll be easy when there's a hole through it. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "Don't Stick Yer Penis In a Vacuum Cleaner Hose" Under much strain of thought, I have come to the conclusion that my favorite household appliance is the vacuum cleaner. Not just any vacuum cleaner but a floor model with a long white hose. Not a Hoover, nor a Shop-Vac, but a Kenmore from a mighty Sears store. Why do I prefer the vacuum cleaner to the myriad of other available appliances? One big reason: SEX. But I won't bore you with the details. The vacuum cleaner is the ultimate anal-retentive perfectionist device, which suits my personality wonderfully well. Dirt over there? No problem! Dirt over here? Again, no problem! The spiritual implications are many. Sin is synonymous with dirt. CLEAN MY SOUL, CLEAN MY CARPET. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "My Penis #4" -3/22/91 I'ma gonna pound my penis flat as a pancake jus' to please you, dear. WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM There... two feet wide, quarter inch thick. Much like a sail for floating in a lake with a cool breeze blowing, my penis extended above - propelling me to and fro. Or perhaps a fan, to flap and cool my testicles in the hot summer sun. I can even roll it up, like a poster or carpet, and make the meanest poker you ever did see. YEEHAW! YEEHAW! xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "The Fair" 10/1/88 I went to 'The Fair' last night/tonight...(late the 30th, whatever). What fun. Wandered around & saw more booths selling hot dogs than I'd like to, and lotsa prize booths, the entire 12-16 yr old population of Lubbock, many grits, and a bad comedian. I went on this ride thing that spun around a lot, which I wouldn't have rode except that I didn't pay for the tickets. Lucky me. Saw some people from HS which I hadn't seen since graduation, which was kinda nice. It's kinda depressing though, makes you realize how time passes and people go and all that...you don't think about how you miss people, even just acquaintances, before it's too late. There's a momentary lift with the smile of recognition, and perhaps a nod or "hey", or short conversation. Then you walk off separately, and think about the good times, or sense of comradere... and you realize it's over now, and a great coldness fills your spirit. Gads. All that time, friendships, acquaintances... all torn to nothing. There's something really tragic in there. The whole thing is starting NOW... and it's not gonna end. Damn. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "Bamn Ditch #2" You bitch... I'd like to pound your breasts flat with a hammer And fuck you with a chainsaw. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "Stacy" There was this girl who wanted to marry me when i was about 6 years old. Our romantic hopes were dashed, however, when I almost poked her eyes out with a stick. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "Better, Stronger, Faster" ...doo doo dii doo...doo dii doo duuu dii doo dii dooo duuu. "But Oscar... I know I can handle the Communist spies AND stop the space alien invasion AND Save The Whales... my Bionic Kung-Foo Grip can do wonders, not to mention cyberpsychoplasmic eyesight/nasal enhancer combo." "The Agency knows that, Steve, but it's an awful lot to risk... your insurance premiums could SKYROCKET!" "Fuck you, Oscar. And your stupid briefcase. Me an' Jamie's gonna check out my hydrolically-enhanced penis, so HA!" Fuckin' hockey puckin'. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx "My Penis #5" -4/8/91 I'm feeling antagonistic towards my penis So me an' Penis are gonna go at it "No holds barred", as they say And when it's over, One of us is gonna be BEATEN to a BLOODY PULP. xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx That's it for now. Hey, call the only AE line I know of in existence: The Polka AE 806/794-4362 Pw:KILL _ _ ____________________________________________________________________ /((___))\|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|NIHILISM..............517/546-0585| [ x x ] |Paisley Pasture......916/673-8412|Ripco II..............312/528-5020| \ / |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194|The Works.............617/861-8976| (' ') |Lunatic Labs.........213/655-0691|Condemned Reality.....618/397-7702| (U) |====================================================================| .ooM |Copr. 1991 cDc communications by Swamp Rat 07/20/91-#175| \_______/|All Rights Pissed Away. FIVE YEARS of cDc|