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  ...presents...            Desert Road Dick Disaster
                                                         by Lady Carolin
                                                         and Renee O'Willsie

                      >>> a cDc publication.......1993 <<<
                        -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
  ____       _     ____       _       ____       _     ____       _       ____

     It was a dark and stormy day.  Ray was walking along his way.  All of a
sudden he heard a noise... a noise that frightened him greatly.

     His dick twitched and his balls pulled closer to him, itching in a frenzy
of sudden scabies... perhaps rabies.  Renee and Carrie pulled up next to him in
a pickup truck, a pick-em-up-truck.  A dick hung out from the end of the hood.
"Fuck that Mack Dog shit," said Carrie.  "We want dicks to flap in the breeze!"

     "Word up, homegirl!" said Renee.

     Pulling to the side of the road, Carrie threw her discarded Captain Morgan
Rum bottle at Ray's dick.  Unfortunately for her she was tooooooooooo drunk and
she missed his nuts by an inch.  Fortunately for Ray he was bigger than one
inch (Just barely).  But his balls weren't anymore!

     They were heading for the desert because it was hot and dry, and they
heard there was a perfect spot, a muddy spot for all dicks.  A spot for dicks
to get KICKED IN THE DIRT!  Like swines that deserve to be treated like shit.

     Ray begged for a ride, in the pitiful way that only he could muster.
Carrie made him get on his knees and beg.  Renee just sat and smoked, singing
"Robbin' an' stealin', stealin' and robbin'."  She took a swig off the Jack
Daniels bottle and she asked how much money Ray had.  Of course, Ray was dirt
poor, because men suck and they don't have jobs.

     So Carrie said, "If you don't have a job, what else can you give us for a
ride, a ride baby, a ride?"  He said he could give us head.


     Renee slapped him.  Hard.  Carrie slapped him too, because this guy needed

     "Fuck him!" Renee shouted.  "This guy's just like all the others.  He
should deserve what all the others got."

     Carrie and Renee held a quick conference in Yugoslavian, consisting mostly
of "Curatz!  Choppa Curatz!!"

     Ray took this to mean "get in the pickup, you handsome fox," so he jumped
in the back.  Little did he know.

     In the back of the truck there were five dicks just laying there.  Ray was
stupid.  He thought they were just Oscar Meyer's wieners.  There were also five
bodies with no dicks.  RAY DID NOT MAKE THE CONNECTION, even after Renee and
Carrie started singing, "Oh I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener."

     Ray was a dumbfuck.

     Carrie pulled out a Swisher Sweet cigar to smoke it.  Ray made the big,
big,  BIG mistake of lighting Carrie's cigar.  Carrie threw him out of the
truck six feet into the air.  He landed with his dick straight up.  Didn't you
realize they'd stripped him naked by this time?  (You know it, homegirl.)

     Renee walked over slowly, and eyeballed his dick and her combat boot
simultaneously.  Carrie started yelling, "Hey batter!  'ey batter batter! 

     Ray was sweating profusely.  Naturally, this was normal for a Planet of
the Apes dude like him, but when I say sweating... I mean rivulets, funnels,
rivers running out of his smelly pits.  He even sweated on his dick so much
that it glistened in the sun and Carrie was almost tempted.

     The birds were flying overhead and they were going to take a drink because
he was sweating so much.   Vultures were swarming in on Ray.  Carrie chanted
on... "Do it!  Do it!"

     Renee licked her lips and screamed while raising her Jack Daniels bottle
up to the sky.  "To dirt, to dirt damnit," she toasted.

     "Now what happens to Ray?" questioned Carrie.  "We need to torture him
slowly but hard."

     They rolled his body over so that he was face down in the dirt.  Quickly
and with great agility, Carrie kicked his legs open spread-eagled on the
ground.  Dust was flying, Ray was crying.  All they could see from behind was
his fat pink sweaty butt cheeks and the small soft curve of his exposed fleshy
vulnerable scabby balls.

     Renee started cackling loudly.

     Carrie started cackling loudly.

     Together they cackled loudly.

     Ray whimpered in the dirt.

     "Shut the fuck up, you dick-suck lame fuck!" screamed Renee.

     Carrie gently picked her own nose with her index finger and fed it to Ray,
holding his neck and stroking it to force him to swallow.  Renee said, "What's
wrong?  You don't swallow?  I want you to swallow every speck!"

     "Woof!" Mack barked unexpectedly.  Renee and Carrie had a pet dog, Mack.
Mack was sitting in the front seat, drooling all over, even more than Ray was.
Mack was big.  Mack was hungry.  Mack was big and hungry.

     "What was that?"  whimpered Ray, as the ground shook beneath his limp,
scared dick while Mack lumbered heavily out of the truck.  Mack eyed Ray's
protruding buttocks.

     Carrie gave Ray a swift kick in the buttocks just so he wouldn't forget
her, then kicked him again, turning him over to face the blazing hot sun.
"Mack likes bones," declared Renee.

     Carrie took a big swig of Jack Daniels and managed to throw up on Ray's
dick.  "You know," she said, "dogs eat their own puke.  Dogs also eat other
people's puke."  Despite Carrie's high level of intoxication, she had perfect
aim and managed to land her projectile vomitus rot directly on Ray's pink
scabby withered sweaty dick.

     "Do you like to be eaten?" Renee asked, with a wicked look on her
beautiful face.

     "Wh-wha-what do you mean?" babbled Ray.  By this time his dick was
retreatin g into its shell.  Carrie reached over and extinguished her blazing
hot cig on Ray's dick.  When his howls subsided, Renee asked again.  "Do you
like to be eaten, Ray?"

     Before Ray could answer, Renee said, "Din-din, Mack," and Mack was on him
like a flash, swiftly licking the hot, oozing vomit off Ray's penis.  It was a
feeding frenzy.  No mercy.  As Mack carnivorously devoured the rotten chunks, 
he occasionally stripped off a tiny piece of flesh indiscriminately.  "Down
boy!  Down boy!" purred Renee.  "Don't ruin dinner."

     Carrie took another chug, swayed slightly, then scratched her head and
breasts.  What would Tequila Willy do in this situation?" she pondered.

     Renee said, "I don't see any brown cows, how now, so I suppose he would do
this."  Renee whipped out her muy grando sombrero, and tossed it on top of
Ray's gnawed-on dick.  Carrie said, "Oh goody!  Horseshoes!"  For a few minutes
they played horseshoes but they didn't keep score, because Ray was the clear
loser in this situation.  Ray was trembling violently.  His sphincter couldn't
hold out much longer.  Fecal matter started spewing out of his anus, dribbling
down to pool in the dirt beneath him, giving forth the illusion of a puddle of
mud.  The sad part was that Mack wasn't even interested in ingesting Ray's
muddy chunks.

     Bored with horseshoes, they proceeded to do a Mexican Hat Dance around
Ray's limp form.  A couple of times, because of their extreme drunkenness, they
"accidentally" tripped and sideswiped his dick with their combat boots.  Ray
bellowed as loudly as he could, considering his voice was strained from
prolonged screaming.  Mucus, green like grass, dripped from his nose and mouth.

     "Oh!  What's this?" said Carrie, pulling out a hot dog bun from the depths
of her giant purse.  "Hors D' oeurves."

     "Wienies on a stick?" asked Renee eagerly.  Mack licked his chops then
licked his dick, because he could, and because he was satisfied.  Carrie
slapped the hot dog bun around Ray's dick, then secured it with a toothpick so
he couldn't wriggle out of it.  Renee and Carrie started attacking the bready
buns, but not Ray's sweaty hairy bready buns.  "I hate it when there's hair in
my food!" screamed Renee as she pulled a hair from her teeth.

     Carrie leaned to inspect Ray's gaping pee-hole.  I swear I saw something
crawl out of there!" shrieked Carrie.  "A bug!  It was a bug!"

     "What are you talking about?" said Renee.  "I don't believe you."

     "I did!  I did!  I swear!" cried Carrie.  "It crawled out then it crawled
back in!"

     "No way!  Let me see!" Renee shoved a toothpick down into the crevice,
poking around, scraping the sides.  Ray was close to unconsciousness.  Phlegm
oozed out of his mouth, running down to collect on his bulbous Adam's Apple.
Mack wandered over to see what the commotion was.  Renee backed off, not
wanting Ray to pass out, because she wanted him fully conscious for what would
come next.  They stood around and spit on his face to revive him.  Mack gnawed
on the toothpick which was sticking out of Ray's peehole.

     "Enough fucking around!" screamed Renee Renee passionately.  "I'm tired of
these games!  Kick his dick in the dirt!"

     "My pleasure!" chortled Carrie, as she kicked Ray onto his side.  Out of
her love for her friend, she allowed Renee to have the ultimate gratification
of destroying Ray's dick.  "Go for the record!  Make it six feet this time!"
she yelled.  "And then Mack will go fetch it.  He loves bones!"

     Renee swung her boot-encased foot with all her muster.  It didn't take
much for the flesh to tear and gravity threw his dick deep into a mud hole.
Not stopping there, Renee ground her heel into Ray's pathetic dick, grinding
and grinding, deeper and deeper.  When she pulled her foot away, they could see
Ray's dick twitching just a little bit.  Mack went to sniff it, then proceeded
to kick up the mud and bury it, just like a dog burying her bone.  By now Ray
had passed out and was unable to extract his dick from the dirt.

     "It's still attached!" screamed Carrie, furious that their ploy had not
worked.  "We'll have to resort to good ol' Black and Decker."  She whipped out
a chainsaw from the gun rack.  The whirr of the chainsaw was music to their
ears.  Amazing how quickly a chainsaw flies through soft putrid pliable flesh.

     "I don't want to touch it!" said Renee.  "Mack, fetch!"  Mack happily dug
Ray's dick out of the dirt and wandered over to the truck.  Renee and Carrie
were just sober enough to hog-tie Ray on a big stick and threw him into the
truck.  They put his dick into a ziplock baggie and used duct tape to attach it
to his leg.  This did not satisfy them and by this time Ray had awakened and
was moaning pathetically.  Carrie grabbed the baggie-full-o'-dick and shoved it
forcefully into Ray's wide open mouth, effectively silencing him.  Ray vomited,
which forced the baggie out of his mouth.  It fell to the ground and Mack
snapped it up, baggie and all.  It was still twitching as Mack swallowed the
last bite.

     Renee and Carrie dropped down the tailgate.  Ray's bloody, mutilated,
tearstained, crusty body slid out of the bed of the truck to fall dejectedly
onto the desert road.  Renee and Carrie drove off, smokin' and drinkin',
robbin' and stealin', kickin' and grindin' into the sunset.  Not looking back
at the once-sperm infested carcass of a "man" that lay lifeless in the dirt on
the road behind them.
 _______  __________________________________________________________________
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   (U)   |==================================================================|
  .ooM   |Copr. 1993 cDc communications by LC & RO'W           07/01/93-#233|
\_______/|Seven SUPER-CALI-FRAGIL-ISTIC-EXPI-ALI-DOCIOUS years of cDc.  K!  |