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     |  ___________     _/_/       | |  \ \       _/_/       ___________  |
     | |              _/_/_____    | |   > >    _/_/_____               | |
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     | |      c   o   m   m   u   n   i   c   a   t   i   o   n   s     | |
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     |____________________________________________________________________|

  ...presents...             Am I Black Enuf for Ya?
                                                         by Keith Wilson
                                                         06/06/1999-#369

             __///////\ -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc- /\\\\\\\__
               \\\\\\\/  Everything You Need Since 1986  \///////
  ___    _   _    ___     _   _    ___       _   _      ___    _   _      ___
 |___heal_the_sick___raise_the_dead___cleanse_the_lepers___cast_out_demons___|


If I told you that I couldn't rap or sing, that I couldn't dance to save
my life, and that I don't even shoot hoops that well, would you say that
I'm not black enuf for ya? 

If you saw that I don't wear big gold chains, that I don't have
dreadlocks or a huge Jackson Five afro, or that I don't have a cool
nickname like Ice or Smooth, would I not be black enuf for ya? 

If I don't drink Ripple, Cisco, or Hennessey, if I've never sold drugs,
and if I've never been arrested, am I not black enuf for ya? 

If I allow you to run a credit check on me, and you learn that not only
do I have a job, but that I pay my bills on time, would you think that
I'm not black enuf for ya? 

If I fail to start every sentence with "Yo', Dawg," or if I refuse to
refer to my sistas as bitches 'n hoes, am I not black enuf for ya?

If I don't brag about having four kids by four different women, or if I
don't eagerly proclaim that the white man is the devil, are you going to
wonder if I'm black enuf for ya?

If I don't cheat on my woman and diminish her self-esteem, place in
society as the Queen that deserves to be, does this mean I'm not black
enuf for ya?

If I secretly admit that I really do like Seinfeld, or that I actually
know how to swim, or that I honestly think OJ did do it, would I not be
black enuf for ya? 

See, I'm not sure, how many of your stereotypes do I have to fulfill
before you reinstate my official ghetto pass? Where do I apply for
admission to this mythical club of blackness that you seem to think I
should belong to?

Be-cuz the truth is - I KNOW who I am.

See, long ago, I responded to this advertisement that ran in the
newspaper of my mind: WANTED -- hardworking, intelligent, and articulate
individual, must be sensitive, but strong; philosophical, but playful.
Candidate must have a pulsating passion for life, an unquenchable thirst
for knowledge, and an unlimited supply of determination. Must be able to
bear the weight of your history and to carry the hopes of your
ancestors. Must also be able to demonstrate an ability to dream while
awake, and a willingness to achieve by any means necessary. Qualified
candidate must possess own recipe for survival, including the ability to
locate a grain of laughter amidst a field of despair. It will be
necessary to have rhythm in your soul and soul in your rhythm, along
with a willingness to embrace sorrow and reject cowardly hatred.
Physical requirements include arms that are long enough to reach back
into the community, but are too short to box with God. Prefer skin that
is like midnight satin, but am willing to consider creamy cocoa brown,
Herschey's dark chocolate, honey-dipped high yellow, sun-kissed redbone,
and even light, bright, and almost white. Can fall anywhere between
Denzel fine and Dennis Rodman thru, between Coltrane's intensity and
Miles Davis cool. Hair-optional; height-irrevelant; big feet a definite
plus. (You know what I'm talkin' 'bout.) Priority consideration given to
self-respecting, sure stepping, confidence oozing, brown-eyed,
thick-lipped, wide-nosed warriors. Timid, shuffling, droop-shouldered,
apologetic, self-loathing, self-destructive Uncle Clarence Thomases need
not apply. If interested, please inquire within. 

So, if I show you my ID card that says "Grade A, Inspected, Certified
100% Sho' Nuff Brotha," then, I ask you, then, will I be black enuf for
ya? 


    .-.                             _   _                             .-.
   /   \           .-.             ((___))             .-.           /   \
  /.ooM \         /   \       .-.  [ x x ]  .-.       /   \         /.ooM \
-/-------\-------/-----\-----/---\--\   /--/---\-----/-----\-------/-------\-
/lucky  13\     /       \   /     `-(' ')-'     \   /       \     /lucky  13\
           \   /         `-'         (U)         `-'         \   /
            `-'              the original e-zine              `-'    _
      Oooo                    eastside westside                     / )   __
 /)(\ (   \                       WORLDWIDE                        /  (  /  \
 \__/  )  /  Copyright (c) 1999 cDc communications and the author. \   ) \)(/
       (_/     CULT OF THE DEAD COW is a registered trademark of    oooO
          cDc communications, PO Box 53011, Lubbock, TX, 79453, USA.      _
  oooO            All rights reserved.  Edited by Omega.            __   ( \
 /   ) /)(\                                                        /  \  )  \
 \  (  \__/       Save yourself!  Go outside!  Do something!       \)(/ (   /
  \_)                     xXx   BOW to the COW   xXx                    Oooo