_   _
 ((___)) cDc communications
 [ x x ] Global Domination Update #28
  \   / "A Special Message of Hope"
  (' ')  December 24th, 2000
   (U)                                                  FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

                      A TIME OF GREAT REFLECTION IS UPON US

     A lot of major events have happened since the last Update... the release
of Back Orifice and BO2K, a completely redone web page, and the formation of
cDc's Hacktivismo subdivision.   But since our birth in 1984, the bread-and-
butter of cDc is our routine creative output.  That's what these updates are
about, and act as sort of a "State of the Union' address to fill you fine,
upstanding, sexy folks in on the progress of The Struggle.

     The United Arab Emirates have recently banned access to our web page from
the grasp of their citizens.  Why?  Because the international press has gotten
wind of and started to write about Hacktivismo's upcoming "Project X" - which
promises to bypass Internet censorship.  Watch for more in the upcoming
months.

     It's a traditional manger scene where Mary and Joseph beam with wonder
at the radiant baby Jesus, the wise men and shepherds doing likewise.  The
animals are milling about in the background when a cow munching on straw
picks up the baby Jesus by the head and starts chewing.  "OH MY GOD!!!  It's
eating the Messiah!!!"  Jesus' little baby legs kick wildly and the frantic
parents, wise men, shepherds and maybe an angel or two rush around smacking
the cow on the head while tugging on the baby's legs in a desperate attempt
to free him.  "Bad cow!  BAD COW!  Don't eat the Messiah!  Stop eating the
Messiah, cow!  BAD COW!!!"

     And that, boys and girls, is why we make hamburgers from cows to this
very day.
                                         "Manger Scene" by Scott Christensen.
 _________________________________/ - x X x - \______________________________

      _   _                 information is junk mail:                _   _
     ((___))                THE TEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE               ((___))
     [ x x ]                _                                       [ x x ]
      \   /  _   |_|_   _ _|_  _|_ |_  _    _| _  _. _|   _ _        \   /
      (' ') (_|_|| |_  (_) |    |_ | |(/_  (_|(/_(_|(_|  (_(_)\_/\_/ (' ')
       (U)                                                            (U)
deal with it       presents unto you our personal gift of love   deal with it
S U C K E R                       NEW RELEASES                    S U C K E R

 __________________________________/new audio\_______________________________

               "We make hardcore jams, so fuck respect..." -Eazy E

248:"What You Thinkin' 'Bout" by Lo-Pro.  This slowed-down, banging gangsta
     track features the advanced lyrical stylings of Luck and Sage from
     one of the hardest crews in Texas, the LBK Mafia.  All-original music
     by xxxclusive and Grandmaster Ratte' of cDc.  Featuring no damn
     samples, period.

249:"DemonSeed's Night Before X-Mas" by Myles Long.  A startling tale of
     personal redemption, as Long dictates.  Script kiddie pays with his
     sins with his life, as DemonSeed Elite strikes with his mighty astral
     monster truck.

250:"cDc's NSF Holiday Training" by Delchi.  There's no "off season" for the
     cDc Ninja Strike Force!  You fool!!  Suffer!!  Aagh!!

 _________________________________/ - x X x - \______________________________
                                      _   _
                                     ((___))
    CULT OF THE DEAD COW             [ x x ]
                                      \   /
       wishes you and                 (' ')
    your charming family             "((U)&
              a                     ( )""""&
  VERY MERRY HOLIDAY SEASON!        &&&&&( .)
                                   &&&( )""""&
                                  """"&&&&&( )&
                                  &&&"""""""&&(
                              ( )&&&&&&&&&&"""""
                               &&&&&( )"""""&&&( )&
                            ( )&&""""""&&( )&&&&&&&&&
                           """"""( )&&&&&&( )&&&&( )&
                    /\___/\ &( )&&&&&&&&( )&&&&&&&"""&&
                    | @ x | )&&&&&( )&&&&""""""___\|/_&&  cDc Likes You Best,
                   __\_^_/__  ___\|/___ &&&&& |   |||   |  All Year 'Round!
                  (__/ooM\__)|___|||___|      |___|||___|
                  (__\___/__)
 _______________________________/new text files\_____________________________

376:"cDc's Guide to Sexually Transmitted Diseases" by Myles Long.  This former
     Eastern-European porn star pulls it all out and lays it on the table for
     you regarding STD's.  

377:"My Life as Santa's Rubber-Clad Love Slave" by Scott Christensen.  It's
     It's tough being an elf... you can't reach very high, and you're easy to
     tie up and throw in a closet.

 _________________________________/ - x X x - \______________________________

From: chankins@network-one.com
To: feedback@cultdeadcow.com
Subject: Stupid

I am a 44 year old x-marine and I like the martial arts. I stumbled up on
this sick sight and would like to invite your bad-ass's over for a lesson any
time some of the sick cows are in my area.  I would like to practice my neck
breaking tech. on a stupid cow.  I live in Fulton, Ms. and work for the city
utility dept. I am not hard to find. Ask for the Recon. Ranger Eddy.

 _________________________________/new visuals\______________________________
 
1:"Build The Future" by Myles Long.  A long, hard road is ahead!

2:"Anime Chicks Dig cDc" by Satoshi "Toy" Igarashi.  Anime girl sitting
   around.  Yep.

3:"Good Ol' Boy" by unknown.  George W. Bush, the shape-shifting reptile-
   beast, looking goofy.

 _________________________________/ - x X x - \______________________________

Thanks to the following recent items of influence:

  MUSIC: OutKast, At The Drive-In, Juvenile, AC/DC
   FOOD: sweet-potato casserole
  PRINT: F.E.D.S. magazine, _The Secret Doctrine of the Kabballah_
  WAREZ: Defender, via MacMAME
JEWELRY: iced-down pinkie ring
HOT SEX: yer momma, ha ha...

                     A brief interview with Count Zero/cDc:

CZ: "What you want to talk about?  They ain't my kids and I don't know that
     chick.  Whatever they told you, I don't know that chick."

Thanks, Zero!

Fools better recognize: CULT OF THE DEAD COW is a gift to the women of this
world and trademark of cDc communications.  Established in 1984, cDc is the
longest-running crew in the telecom underground worldwide, and inventor of
the "e-zine."  Every issue is produced on an Apple ][ for genuine tru-skool
flavor.  You thirst for our body of work, you know you do.  Find it at the
cDc Global Domination Factory Direct Outlets:

World Wide Web: www.cultdeadcow.com
        Usenet: alt.fan.cult-dead-cow
           BBS: 806/794-4362 Entry:KILL

For further information, write:

         Email: feedback@cultdeadcow.com
        Postal: cDc, 1369 Madison Ave. #423, New York, NY 10128, USA

xoxoxo,

Grandmaster Ratte'
cDc Warrior-Priest-King
"We're into telecom for the groupies and money.  Bling bling."

           __//////\   -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-   /\\\\\\__
 Est. 1984   \\\\\\/   NINJA STRIKE FORCE * HACKTIVISMO   \//////   Est. 1984
                                     ####
We will have more to say.